I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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