Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
