im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
