If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
