He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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