This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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