I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Randomize
