if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
