i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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