I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
