HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
