Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
