Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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