dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
