READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize