Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
