i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
And then my night got REAL pukey
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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