fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
