How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
