As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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