I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
