i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
