we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
