Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
