sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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