Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
