it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
