u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
