I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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