Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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