Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
