He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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