you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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