C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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