help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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