So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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