So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
soo... how was my night?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
