Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
