you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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