I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
