well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
