Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize