I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
