I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize