All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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