I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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