It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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