im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Bring me that man meat
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
