so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
