i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
