i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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