Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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