is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize