i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
