im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize