Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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