i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
