Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize