Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Randomize
