i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
