if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
