HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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