Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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