In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
