U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
