She announced her abortion via fbk
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
